cold skin
young blood
i find it increasingly difficult to relate to people around me. i never know what exactly to say, or how exactly to react to their statements and findings. i’ve learned to operate on autopilot and smile a bit, laugh a little, even tell a few jokes every now and then. i’m sure nobody has figured out yet that i find it increasingly excruciating to socialize. it’s okay though. i have books and delicious tea, and nothing is really a big deal in the long run. in four months, i will be in university, and it’ll be easier to fade into the background than it ever has been before. i just want to feel okay. i want to sit in a lovely little apartment with christmas lights pinned to the walls. i want to drink cheap wine and read keat’s poems aloud. i want to hug and kiss and love. i’m sure things will be fine. there is nothing to worry about. i am sure that things will be much lovelier than i could have imagined.